Well, I’ve f*cked ’em all from Coast to Coast…
Well you can talk about your lovers and your back door pimps.
You can talk about your Hollywood F*gs.

If you want to know the badest mother*cker in the world then I’m the greatest lover alive
Jackie Onassis was a snuff queen for me before she ever got rich.
And it would take a man a day and a half just to satisfy that b*tch.

Why the Queen of England gave me the keys to the whole damn Country of France
And it only took me 15 minutes to get into her pants.

Well, I’ve f*cked them all from Coast to Coast, cause honey, that’s my bag.

Fact, I’m the only guy in the world who can make Linda Lovelace Gag

doot doot doot duh…

Now it ain’t that my d*ck’s so goddamn big, it’s just that I know how to use it.
I’ll never let no nickel-dime wh*re ever get the chance to abuse it.
They can suck it for hours and hours on end, but I’ll still be in control.
And I won’t cum ’til I want to cum, cause that’s my jelly-roll.

Now they’re ain’t no woman, no match for me, I’ve had them try to wear me down.
I’ve f*cked them barmaids, and bank clerks, I even f*cked a circus clown.
Teachers and Lawyers doctors and more, them fat women sure are a drag,

I tell you I’m the only motherf*cker in the world that can make Linda Lovelace gag.

Well, old Harry Reams fall apart at the seams when he saw me f*ck that whore.
She sucked my d*ck and swallowed my nuts, and I still hollered for more.
She sucked my assh*le, she sucked my toes, she’s the suckinest bitch alive.
I made her call up two more c*nts, and friend that at no jive.

She don’t give me no sh*t about being no big time lover.
Some movie star with a jag.
Cause you ain’t sh*t…
If you can’t get Linda Lovelace to gag.

And don’t talk about being no full-time lover, cause mister, that’s my bag.

I’m the only motherf*cker in the damn world that can make Linda Lovelace gag.

doot doot doot