Well the motorcycle club had a party,
And all the young virgins were there.
And I found a blonde with little bitty titties
And a pretty yellow ribbon in her hair.
Then I told her the three biggest lies in the world,
The ones my Daddy first told me,
And that was the beginning of my sexual life
And the end of my fantasy.

I said, “This’ll only hurt for a little while,
I’ll only put the head of it in.
I promise that I’ll never try to cum in your mouth.”

Met her in a local honky-tonk,
Told her it was love at first sight.
She was just a-looking’ for a shoulder to cry on
And a place where she could spend the night.
Me, I was a little nervous – I’d never been that far before,
So I told her the three biggest lies in the world
As we danced across the floor.

I said, “This’ll only hurt for a little while,
I’ll only put the head of it in.
I promise that I’ll never try to cum in your mouth.”

Busted in a Birmingham robbery,
He didn’t have no money for bail.
The judge bound him over to the local grand jury
And the Sheriff threw his young ass in jail.
They put him in the cell with a pervert,
That later tried to climb in his bed.
Stuck one of them homemade knives to his throat,
And these are the words that he said,

Good Buddy- “This’ll only hurt for a little while,
I’ll only put the head of it in.
I promise that I’ll never try to cum in your mouth.”